The First Step (Day 2) 17.03.12

Today, as yesterday, started loudly. The fact that I'm already beginning to become slightly annoyed with the process is a bit daunting, but necessary. I've started to feel slightly left out from anything interesting happening around me. People I would usually make conversation with are distancing themselves to avoid any sort of awkward confrontation. The word 'deaf' has been constantly brought up conversations I've attempted to have with friends of mine and in a way, I feel deaf. There is also the factor of loneliness. Naturally, as people, we have little intention of interacting with someone who doesn't want to interact with us. It all comes back to the idea of our ego, we want be interesting and paid attention to.

"Loneliness is a little discussed concept in today's self-obsessed climate, where it is seen as a negative embarrassing condition. It is unique for every individual, and as such, it is difficult to define. There are other closely related concepts, for example, aloneness and solitude, that further complicate an already complex issue. Loneliness also has various causes and effects that can be one and the same, and so it can be confused with similar but different conditions, for example, depression and self-esteem." - Loneliness, an epidemic in modern society. See full article: NCIB

I found this definition quite interesting as it relates the feeling to society and not just personal experience. Being blocked out from things seems like it could be fairly depressing.